I remember when I was born,
I couldn’t see my face but your eyes showed me something beautiful.
Something beautiful, which brought the largest smile on your face.
They showed as if you have got the universe.
You took me in your soft hands and looked deep into my two bubbling eyes.
As if want to see the depths of the universe and naming the unnamed planets.
Then you took me to the glass door hanging from the wall, showing the world of the other side.
People were gazing through it.
Even you tried. But you got scared.
I know you remembered all your tears.
All those, words from your parents.
All those taunts of your friends.
All those hearts break from your girlfriends.
All those shattered dreams of your young age.
All those people who ditched you bullied you, dumped you, slew you, kicked you, punched you,
slaughtered you, puked you,
those frightening bizarre which still aches your heart…
because woods are dark and deep and you have forgotten how to sleep
You grip got loose.
I afraid of falling down.
I started crying because crying is the only option man understands for depression.
And your thoughts reached present, telling you yesterday’s history will ruin tomorrow’s mystery.
Suddenly you remembered with a sudden jerk. And your grip got firm again.
Those scared eyes reached mine,
just like the sun leaves its shores before nine.
And tears rolled down you clutched me to your chest.
As if to protect me from the world,
as if to treasure me in your soul
as if to clutch me in you unseen pockets
as if to say ‘you are mine’
and gently kissed my forehead
A kiss which stopped me from crying
After 5 years,
We stood in front of shop’s glass.
I called my twin Sahar (living in the other world)
you gripped my hand firmly because you knew the time has begun.
You knew that now you have to become my best friend.
That is why you didn’t need tears to understand those pains.
You always knew what I wished for.
When I used to look at fascinating stars,
you ran to google how to reach those stars.
When I used to run behind those cars,
I knew you directly took me to the toy shop…
I knew this because I saw your broken box when I used to stare at that aunt licking ice cream.
You knew it was the ice cream, not the girl.
So you took me to confectionary.
I remember when Principal’s son pushed me,
you ran over his father as if he has killed you.
I didn’t want to show my first 0
because I heard those shrieking cries of Rohan.
3 on 1 and 1 hiding his emotions in that big 0.
I was scared.
But how did you guess when you slowly laid your hand on my head and hugged me.
This time I couldn’t stop and I shattered in tears.
“Dad I lost it. We couldn’t make it dad
We will. I know you can”
But then as I was growing up,
You started stopping me, shouting at me, ordering me, commanding me, hiding things from me
I wanted to drink that red juice water, but you took me away.
I asked you the meaning go reproduction you,
said it to out of syllabus
I showed you my first poetry you tore and when I laughed as I used to laugh. You said grow up.
Now after 10 years, we were standing in front of the same glass.
You had my brother in your hand.
You looked at me, busy in my phone, planning night out.
You looked at your reflection. It was laughing at you.
Your tired eyes rolled down.
But this time our reflection crossed each other.
Your mocking reflection met my busy reflection and this time I held your hand.
“Sagar I lost it, we couldn’t make it. We will Dad. I know you can.
Because now you know, that reproduction is different from sex and sex is different from sexual harassment
that pomegranate juice is different from red wine and red wine is not so alcoholic
that poetry is not just a paper of words but an emotion which only you can understand
the fault is not where you were lacking, but the place where you didn’t focus.
This time together….”
by Sagar Sharma